31 March 2008 - Day 8

Today seemed to fly right by. Not exactly sure how that happened, considering my workload today was slow to moderate. I am certain tomorrow will be full of all kinds of surprises, since I get to move offices (which I am not real excited about). Although, getting the opportunity to learn the 3D modeling software, may come out to my advantage. I can see the wheels-a-turning now.

To rewind a little, the morning was rather chaotic. I seemed to be running a little later than usual, so that threw off the rhythm of the morning routine. So I will be focusing on hopping right back into the whole scheme of things tomorrow. I have got to avoid hitting snooze. Despite the rush of routine, and not being able to relax much nor quiet the voices for meditation this morning, the remainder of the day went very well. I was able to head to the gym to work out before dinner, which really helped "free" up some evening time for more cooking for tomorrow's meals. I have not really been that into cooking until now. I have loved every meal I have made, which is really cool. I used to want to always go-out for dinner, but this has changed my viewpoint to always wanting to cook, so I can control what myself and kids are eating; plus its healthier and cheaper.

I also managed to get the kids to exercise while I did, which is a huge plus. I am definitely on to something...lifestyle improvements from every angle.

M=Sharp
E=Happy and excited
P=Strong and sore
S=Searching

30 March 2008 - Day 7

What a week it has been, full of challenges and changes. I feel myself very focused and committed already. Being a determined person, I rarely back down from a challenge, but this one is a little different. I have been through a hell of a lot of shit within the last year. But with that aside, I have made it a point to spend some real time focusing on me. This program helps me do exactly that. It may have taken a little time to discover that in the beginning, but it is sure nice to hear from friends...it's great to have YOU back. What a compliment! Life takes us down some interesting roads, paths that can change who we are, but when we discover that we are in fact in charge...we choose; what an amazing rediscovery! So for today, and every today after, I choose to be ME.

M=Sharp, alert, looking forward
E=Excited, eager with anticipation
P=Strong, and a little stiff and sore (thanks to pushing it even on my "free day")
S=Searching

29 March 2008 - Day 6

This morning I was ambitious and pumped. I joined the gym last night and decided I was going to try spin class, just in case I get the opportunity to go biking in the mountains or something. So anyway, I convinced a friend of mine to get up early on a Saturday morning and "drop in" to an 8:00 class with me. It was awesome, but very tough. My ass is sooooo sore, but I think the benefits will outweigh the cost. So with that being said my daily routine was slightly off track, but I did get my aerobic exercise done early.

Since I waited to meditate until I got home from the gym and ate breakfast, by that time, I was pretty spent. So needless to say, meditation was rather fragmented again today since I kept dosing off. Better hopes for tomorrow.

Oh, I also made the chicken enchilada recipe from the cookbook for dinner tonight. It was amazing! I haven't tried one thing I have not liked.

M=Partly cloudy (due to too much time spent on tax prep today)
E=Excited
P=Sore, but good sore (I've been working hard =) which feels really good)
S=Searching

28 March 2008 - Day 5

Welcome to the long-awaited Sexy Friday! Thank god. It sure has been an interesting and challenging first few days on the program. All in all, I feel fantastic! I have made some real life adjustments, which is truly the success I need. I have not waivered from the 3 main principles (meditation, exercise, reflection); not one inch. The only thing I did was drink one Diet Coke, to prevent my headache from worsening. The meals have been great. I love the cookbook. There have not been any meals I have not enjoyed. Not just to see the physical results, but to begin rebuilding from within, who I am. I have missed Dawn Terry for a long time. It sure feels good to have her back. I was reminded of that again just yesterday, from an old friend. I know there are other challenges going on in my life, but it feels great for me to focus on improving myself as a whole. Reminding myself of how to become more aware of the unlimited possibilities around me, is a perfect way to start my day. I also recognize that there are people in my life, especially one, that really deserve some true thanks for helping me "rediscover" myself. So I will direct my thanks to you...for all you have done, and continue to do for me...for everything...I love you!

M=Sharp
E=Excited
P=Tired & sore, but pumped
S=Searching

27 March 2008 - Day 4

This morning started rather rough. I started off in my regular routine, but meditation was rather fragmented. I could not seem to keep my mind on track. Then as I headed off to school/babysitter, I started to develop very strange symptoms that seemed to be the onset of a migraine. I immediately decided it was best to head back home and lie down. After about 2 hours of sleep, I felt extremely better. Still had a headache, but nothing like earlier, no problems with my vision, which was great! Thank god.

By the time I actually got work at 1:00, I was way behind. So the work day flew, which was perfect. Late in the day I got a call about another showing, which is great news, but also causes me to panic a little...thinking of all the things I have to get done alone. So rather than let it overwhelm me like usual, I came up with a plan. Ask for help. Unfortunately, I was denied again. Oh well, I tried. Hence, now I am totally exhausted. Finally finished cooking, dealing with a horrible bloody nose, cleaning, bathing kids, laundry, and its just before midnight. But I was determined not to skip a workout. I will not accept excuses.

So here I sit, finally sit, to write my blog, as promised, hoping tomorrow will go a little smoother. But I suppose it will all be werth it, when I get an offer on the house. =)

M=Foggy
E=Indifferent
P=Drained
S=Searching

26 March 2008 - Day 3

Although I was rather distracted and disconnected this morning, the remainder of the day went rather well. I was able to concentrate pretty well at work, which has been unusual as of late. Today was also my first day of yoga. That being said, I was really excited. There were quite a few in my class, so I am not sure if the class will always go like that. But despite the fact that it seemed "different" from what I had pictured in my mind of how it would be, I really enjoyed it. I was pleasantly surprised as to how much it worked all the muscles, especially my core; which was perfect! I also met some pretty cool new people...it's funny when you step outside your box, the opportunities that present themselves are amazing. The girl I met, Laura, majored in art. She wanted to be an interior designer. But currently is working for Catholic Charities as a social worker. How cool for us to be paired up.

So here's to new beginnings...

M=Sharp, motivated
E=Excited
P=Strong
S=Distracted

25 March 2008 - Day 2

This morning's routine began perfectly, and was rounded off with meditation. I was able to focus rather quickly. As I was narrowing in on my first mantra, my mind was filled instantly with two ideas. It seemed as though these two ideas/concepts, would be the "new awareness" for the day. Something was definitely meant to be heard with these two concepts...now if only I wasn't interrupted by the loud music on the alarm clock, maybe I would recall what they were. How frustrating!

Other than that obstacle, the day was fantastic. My friend made to the final step in the firefighters academy. What an accomplishment! We were able to spend time together exercising, eating, and getting caught up on the latest...ya know the great news with Dave and the always challenging news as it pertains to asshat Chris. In any case, several aspects of my life lately seem to be surrounded by drama...hence my nickname: drama mama...which I am determined to lose. Therefore, I will focus on a new direction. One that begins with changes in me...mind, body and soul. So thank you again, Dave...for everything!

M=sharp, except during the mid afternoon, a little foggy
E=this morning was frustrating; excited!
P=tired after hard workout, but it felt great!
S=searching

24 march 2008 - Day One

Meditation: This morning started so well. I was a little hesitant going into the first day of meditating, but I was soooo excited to get the ball rolling on the 12 week program. I woke up a little slow, as usual, then quickly decided I better get in the shower to wake my ass up before trying to relax and meditate. So there starts the routine...I set my alarm, as instructed, but as tired as I was...forgot to turn it on. To my surprise, when I finally broke to check the clock, 25 minutes had past. That felt AWESOME! I really shocked myself by not having too much trouble quieting my mind. I was able to concentrate on my mantras pretty well, with the occasional need to wiggle or itch or some-sort. When I was able to concentrate on becoming more aware, I felt very free and relaxed (kinda like floating.) I listened to the distinct sounds from 3 different birds, and felt spring. I even started to feel the chill in the air.

On my drive to work, I felt refreshed and alert. The breakfast I made was awesome. Jordan asked for some, which made me sense this new "leading by example" with better, healthy food choices, was truly going to work. Despite my work day being rather slow, I was able with a little advice, to look at the issues of office lack of organization from a new perspective. From that moment, things definitely turned around. I had a great laugh, as a result, and rediscovered the power of humor.

Exercise: The workout started off with a little frustration, feeling like I may be disappointed that I couldn't get a real workout without a gym membership. But after talking to Dave and walking through the exercises through different variations, I was very pumped. I completed the workout with only a few bumps in the plan. I discovered I definitely need to fill the weight gap, and pick up a 5# and 10# weights. It will take a little while before I can work with the 15#, but I will get there.

I am looking forward to seeing the change in me, through all aspects of the program...mind, body and spirit!

M=this morning was alert; now I'm pretty loopy =)
E=pleasantly surprised, excited
P=good and sore
S=searching

What Kind of Friend Are You?

On my mind right now...friends, or should I say lack there of. Not acquaintances, or friends of no substance, but I am speaking about real friends. Those real friends who know the secrets of your heart. Sometimes, some days like today, I feel those kind of friends are few and far between. I am now surrounded by a new perspective. I used to feel that if I was a real friend, I would attract others like me. It is hard not to be disappointed by a person's lack of common sense, if you will. Being a good friend, I felt, came easy for me. Now I realize, not everyone chooses to be real, and maybe that is where the problem lies. It is crazy how people around me use friendship to manipulate. They give with expectations. What happened to just giving to give? Whatever, whoever you are...please just be REAL! So as I was so educated yesterday in a quote I read...maybe the problem stems within.




"an essential spiritual truth: People mirror back to us the reality of who we are." - Deepak Chopra





In that reflection I see my true image. So rather than be so quick to see where others fail me, I choose today to work on me. How about you?