OMG this morning I woke up and felt very sluggish, kept snoozing the alarm. I had every intention of meditating and getting a fresh new start with program 2, but somehow sleep seemed way more important. Anyway, finally struggled out of bed, and tried to meditate, but just couldn't focus. So I went about my morning routine, and hopped into the shower. As my mind was replaying a thousand thoughts, something awesome happened. It was like a whole new cleansing. It completely opened my eyes. I found myself running back through the events of the last few weeks or so and realized where I had gone wrong. I lost focus completely. Realizing that where I am now is a result of MY decisions, that I removed my focus from my goals - strengthening of my body, mind and spirit; that I drifted into "floating" mode. That I need to follow my goals and dreams, stop letting life pass me by. I need to focus on improving my whole self.
I also recognized that I made a huge mistake when I lost direction. I began to rely too much on someone eltse being my source of happiness. When there were failures, I pointed the finger and didn't realize that the inadequacies are mine and no one else's. That my happiness starts with me. Meditation focus #1: Rediscoving my self confidence.
When life takes you down a difficult path, you look to others to make you feel better. But only to realize when you don't find what you think you need, you ultimately rediscover those who truly love you, give you exactly what you need...a mirror to show you the correct path, the reflection that gives new direction.
So for a true and honest reflection, that first I did not see, I thank you, my lover and my best friend.
M=Rejuvenated
E=Happy for rediscovery; Sad for time wasted
P=Ambitious to meet my goals
S=Looking forward to growth
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