There are soooo many things running through my mind right now. It is hard to get my mind to slow down enough to write them down. My first thought is to dread what I may find on that computer tomorrow...#2 Is to hope I find all kinds of dreadful shit that I can use to fry his ass...#3 Is to take advantage of his panicking and negotiate this now to the end...#4 Is to just slow down, take my time, discover all that I can to be certain that I am making the right decision for me and my kids. So with all that swirling through my brain, I choose, for now, to slow down and enter the discovery process with the best advice in mind...that those images I find are of a past life, a version of me that no longer exists. And that person needs my help to fight and set her free.
With that being said, I am mentally spent. So I am going to workout extra hard tomorrow, which I am sure I will need to do after computer discovery class is over, followed by some wine to unwind. Meditation was interrupted this morning by persistant phone callers, but I was still able to jump back in and relax my mind. That was encouraging.
One thing I am certain of, is that at times like these, I would love to make love and pass out in the arms of the man I love right now. Sweet dreams...
M=Scattered vs. Focused
E=Exhausted
P=Strong
S=Seeking direction
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