I know, I know...yesterday I was naughty and didn't blog. However, I did follow through with all the stuff I had said I would do, and for the kind of crazy day I had, that should say something. I went to work; went to the attorney's office for discovery time (which at times was mortifying); went to the gym for a very hard workout; and finished the night off with some wine. After the kinds of things I had witnessed on that computer, I was really debating whether to just head home and pass out or head to Leigh Ann's for "wine-thirty." I am kinda glad I made that choice. It really helped to relax and void those things out of my mind. I am sure that was more due to the wine than the company. hehe Plus, I am certain it had a lot to do with my late night conversation, along with the sexy pic I received. =)
In any case, the truth has been exposed and now it is time to make a decision, and move forward. I am now faced with the big decision. What to do next? How to proceed? I feel that part of me is sooo past ready for all of this shit to be over, and part of me is really struggling for the best form of revenge. I am pretty sure that comes from my determination. I don't want to "give up" until I am certain I have won. I know what you are thinking...I do know that I have won. I don't think that is the internal problem at all. I think the problem lies in the fact that I don't really know what it is that I want. I am really enjoying my time to myself, the workouts, the traveling, the love for life again. For so long I was robbed of that. And I really feel that I am experiencing life through my own eyes and enjoying every minute. So the question is...do I fight to remove more of his rites with the kids, and in turn, rob myself of freedom?
Of course, the best answer is that I do what is in the best interests of me and the kids. And that means making sure they are protected and we are all happy.
That is definitely one to mediate on. So with that, I am off to think...
M=Exhausted
E=A little overwhelmed
P=Strong and fit
S=Seeking answers/direction
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