Jeez, I have to be honest...I have lost track of days, journaling, meditation, the whole nine yards. I have been so preoccupied this week with all kinds of things, especially Dave. I know that is no excuse. I need to totally bust my ass to get back into the groove. This week I have worked out only twice, and not eaten as well. I vow to get back on track right now. Tomorrow is a new day and I have to do this all for me.
I feel so much better about life, have more energy, and more self-confidence when I am in my rhythm.
I have to be honest, it has been eating me alive to hear all the pain Dave is in, and not being close enough to help. I can't stand it one bit! I can't stop thinking about him. It is making me crazy! Only one week until I get to visit him in Albuquerque...I can't wait!
M=Preoccupied
E=Concerned
P=Tired, lacking energy
S=Disconnected
Friday, May 16, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
12 May 2008 - Day 50
What an unbelievable night!
The day starts by oversleeping this morning, then rushing out the door, off to school/sitter/work. Work went fine. I got a lot accomplished, but seemed to struggle to stay awake. (Can't imagine why I am so tired...hehehe.) After work, I pick up the monkeys and head to the park to unwind and play. We had a great time. Then by the time we got home, it was rush time again to get them dinner, finish homework, packed, showered, and off to bed.
Then I finally get the chance to "relax" and make a wrap for dinner. So just as I have a quick minute to start up the computer, I see that Dave is online and we started chatting. Then the craziness follows...I get a call from Chris asking if I have a minute to talk. I say...no, very busy. He ignores that and continues to tell me that his reason for calling is to give me the "heads up" that his whore bitch is suing me and Robert for distributing her pictures. HA...ME. What a fucking joke. This is the craziest shit ever! So now I am curious to hear what the hell is going on. He continues to sound desperate that he is trying everything to get her to drop it, but that she has hired a "ruthless attorney with no morals." In fact, this ruthless attorney is now contacting Chris to get him to fire Perry and hire him to finish our divorce case. Chris explains he doesn't want anything to get ugly. That he is trying to make this go away. That he is a "changed man" with christian morals and wouldn't even consider using this attorney. In fact, he continues to spew out of his mouth that he knows that we are never going to get back together, that he is so sorry, blah, blah, blah, but he still wants to sit down and talk with me (not try to win me back) about what happened. Tell me how he has changed over the last 2 months. What a fucking laugh!!!
Sometimes I can do nothing other than laugh at the thought of all this shit. What a crazy fucking bitch to think she can sue me...and for what? Sharing the pics she consented to taking and consenting to share with Robert. What an idiot! I can't wait to see where this one goes. Well, better email my attorney with this one.
Just had a thought...this one will sure be interesting to explain to Jordan some day...how her daddy's girlfriend sued her mommy for sharing the pics that daddy took of her with his dick in her mouth and consented to share with their 3way lover. HAHAHAHA!
M=can't stop shaking my head...the brilliance of some people...HA!
E=hysterical
P=tired
S=disconnected
The day starts by oversleeping this morning, then rushing out the door, off to school/sitter/work. Work went fine. I got a lot accomplished, but seemed to struggle to stay awake. (Can't imagine why I am so tired...hehehe.) After work, I pick up the monkeys and head to the park to unwind and play. We had a great time. Then by the time we got home, it was rush time again to get them dinner, finish homework, packed, showered, and off to bed.
Then I finally get the chance to "relax" and make a wrap for dinner. So just as I have a quick minute to start up the computer, I see that Dave is online and we started chatting. Then the craziness follows...I get a call from Chris asking if I have a minute to talk. I say...no, very busy. He ignores that and continues to tell me that his reason for calling is to give me the "heads up" that his whore bitch is suing me and Robert for distributing her pictures. HA...ME. What a fucking joke. This is the craziest shit ever! So now I am curious to hear what the hell is going on. He continues to sound desperate that he is trying everything to get her to drop it, but that she has hired a "ruthless attorney with no morals." In fact, this ruthless attorney is now contacting Chris to get him to fire Perry and hire him to finish our divorce case. Chris explains he doesn't want anything to get ugly. That he is trying to make this go away. That he is a "changed man" with christian morals and wouldn't even consider using this attorney. In fact, he continues to spew out of his mouth that he knows that we are never going to get back together, that he is so sorry, blah, blah, blah, but he still wants to sit down and talk with me (not try to win me back) about what happened. Tell me how he has changed over the last 2 months. What a fucking laugh!!!
Sometimes I can do nothing other than laugh at the thought of all this shit. What a crazy fucking bitch to think she can sue me...and for what? Sharing the pics she consented to taking and consenting to share with Robert. What an idiot! I can't wait to see where this one goes. Well, better email my attorney with this one.
Just had a thought...this one will sure be interesting to explain to Jordan some day...how her daddy's girlfriend sued her mommy for sharing the pics that daddy took of her with his dick in her mouth and consented to share with their 3way lover. HAHAHAHA!
M=can't stop shaking my head...the brilliance of some people...HA!
E=hysterical
P=tired
S=disconnected
Sunday, May 11, 2008
11 May 2008 - Day 49
Wow! What an incredible last few days. Dave came to visit me on Thursday. Although things didn't exactly start off perfectly, I was so happy to have him right beside me. Between all of the sudden being completely swamped at the office, having to work late, and going home with a sick kid with a high fever...not exactly what I had in mind when I first got to see him. But somehow, we always seem to have fun regardless of where we are or what we are doing.
Friday, I had to be up early, have 2 kids off to school and sitter and be into work earlier than usual, and have the house ready for another showing...wow! We made it without any problems. Then the only hard part after that, was staying awake at work, and getting the rest of the work done quick enough that we could leave and be alone. I was a little antsy! =) Then we had enough time to enjoy each other, before heading to the gym for a workout, then off to dinner at Casa's. Then for the highlight of the evening...Rascal Flatts. They were absolutely phenomenal! From there we met up with Robyn and friends at Uptown, then somehow got sidetracked on the way to catch up with Jamie, by stopping to visit a church parking lot. Wouldn't Mom be proud?
What a night!
Saturday, we got a slow moving start. It is very hard to get up and moving with Dave in my bed. Even though the bed itself is shitty and uncomfortable, I just can't seem to get enough of the snuggling and spooning. I made us breakfast, then we headed outside to tackle the yardwork. Then we went for a 7 mile ride on the river greenway trails. That was awesome. Then we went shopping, and got very distracted along the way by running into Dave's new love, Jade the gorgeous blonde pekinese with green eyes. =) It was very hard to pry them apart. What an amazing puppy! Then it was home for showers and ready for the surprise. In order to celebrate the 19th anniversary of junior prom, I planned to model his favorite and mine, the black dress. I was so thrilled that after that many years that I could still get that amazing dress on. It was very emotional. Then it was off to a late dinner at Takaoka and meet up with Robyn and friends at 412 for entertaining karaoke.
Sunday, we woke up slowly again, got showered and ready, and went out for breakfast at Sharon's diner. With each visit, it is getting more and more incredibly difficult to say good-bye. This time was particularly hard for me. I am looking forward already to seeing him again in Albuquerque in less than 2 weeks.
M=sharp
E=bittersweet
P=sore from the rides =)
S=searching
Friday, I had to be up early, have 2 kids off to school and sitter and be into work earlier than usual, and have the house ready for another showing...wow! We made it without any problems. Then the only hard part after that, was staying awake at work, and getting the rest of the work done quick enough that we could leave and be alone. I was a little antsy! =) Then we had enough time to enjoy each other, before heading to the gym for a workout, then off to dinner at Casa's. Then for the highlight of the evening...Rascal Flatts. They were absolutely phenomenal! From there we met up with Robyn and friends at Uptown, then somehow got sidetracked on the way to catch up with Jamie, by stopping to visit a church parking lot. Wouldn't Mom be proud?
What a night!
Saturday, we got a slow moving start. It is very hard to get up and moving with Dave in my bed. Even though the bed itself is shitty and uncomfortable, I just can't seem to get enough of the snuggling and spooning. I made us breakfast, then we headed outside to tackle the yardwork. Then we went for a 7 mile ride on the river greenway trails. That was awesome. Then we went shopping, and got very distracted along the way by running into Dave's new love, Jade the gorgeous blonde pekinese with green eyes. =) It was very hard to pry them apart. What an amazing puppy! Then it was home for showers and ready for the surprise. In order to celebrate the 19th anniversary of junior prom, I planned to model his favorite and mine, the black dress. I was so thrilled that after that many years that I could still get that amazing dress on. It was very emotional. Then it was off to a late dinner at Takaoka and meet up with Robyn and friends at 412 for entertaining karaoke.
Sunday, we woke up slowly again, got showered and ready, and went out for breakfast at Sharon's diner. With each visit, it is getting more and more incredibly difficult to say good-bye. This time was particularly hard for me. I am looking forward already to seeing him again in Albuquerque in less than 2 weeks.
M=sharp
E=bittersweet
P=sore from the rides =)
S=searching
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
7 May 2008 - Day 45
What an exhausting day... I am spent. But at the same time, I am so incredibly excited about seeing Dave tomorrow, I can hardly stand it. I have been rushing around since I got back into town at 6:00 to work on all my final errands, etc. I still have much to do, but I am so mentally spent from all the furniture meetings today, I am retiring for the night. I have a feeling we may be up late for the next few nights, "soaking" it all in. hehehe
I am so thrilled to see my boys too! I think I am singing in my sleep. I feel like a giddy high school girl...isn't that ironic. =) Oh and my attorney sent me the settlement papers for my final review...isn't that ironic that Dave is coming to town on the same night one year ago that asshat moved out AND I will be sending his attorney my final papers. =) I LOVE IT! How's that for timing!
M=Exhausted
E=Elated!
P=Great!
S=Seeking
I am so thrilled to see my boys too! I think I am singing in my sleep. I feel like a giddy high school girl...isn't that ironic. =) Oh and my attorney sent me the settlement papers for my final review...isn't that ironic that Dave is coming to town on the same night one year ago that asshat moved out AND I will be sending his attorney my final papers. =) I LOVE IT! How's that for timing!
M=Exhausted
E=Elated!
P=Great!
S=Seeking
Sunday, May 4, 2008
4 May 2008 - Day 42
Today turned out pretty cool. I spent the morning, running around like a chicken getting the house ready for the open house, and paint samples to Leigh Ann. Then off to the zoo we went. The weather was surprisingly much better than forecasted. It was a wonderful sunny day, cool but much warmer than expected. Although it cost me lot of money, I got all the expenses done up front, which will last all summer. The kids really enjoy the zoo so I don't mind.
So all in all, it was a nice "free" day. I did not exercise, other than walking miles around the zoo, carrying the 40 lb boy, cleaning the entire house, chasing kids through the yard, playing frisbee, teaching Tyler to roller skate, etc.
This upcoming week is going to be awesome. I am really looking forward to having Dave come to see me, the Rascal Flatts concert and sharing my surprise. =)
So I still have lots to do to get ready for the exciting week, along with the info I need to gather for the attorney...so off to work I go...whistling.
M=Slightly stressed and confused
E=Eager for Thursday, Happy
P=Tired but strong
S=Seeking
So all in all, it was a nice "free" day. I did not exercise, other than walking miles around the zoo, carrying the 40 lb boy, cleaning the entire house, chasing kids through the yard, playing frisbee, teaching Tyler to roller skate, etc.
This upcoming week is going to be awesome. I am really looking forward to having Dave come to see me, the Rascal Flatts concert and sharing my surprise. =)
So I still have lots to do to get ready for the exciting week, along with the info I need to gather for the attorney...so off to work I go...whistling.
M=Slightly stressed and confused
E=Eager for Thursday, Happy
P=Tired but strong
S=Seeking
Friday, May 2, 2008
02 May 2008 - Day 40
Right now I am feeling still a little overwhelmed. I have a ton to do to... #1 get my house ready for the open house on Sunday, and #2 all the attorney shit to finalize the settlement papers (hopefully, for the last time), and #3 all the details to get organized for next week. I can hardly keep my eyes open at the moment, so I think I will be better fit to handle all these tasks if I pass out early. So with that being said, I take my notepad to bed so I can jot down all the to-do shit I have and head to bed...
M=A little stressed
E=Happy
P=Whipped
S=Searching
M=A little stressed
E=Happy
P=Whipped
S=Searching
Thursday, May 1, 2008
01 May 2008 - Day 39
What can I say....these last 2 days have been awesome! I got to see my Davy, hear one of the world's most incredible musicians, drive a porsche, and many other things phenomenal things that I don't need to blog about (if you get my drift.) =) Even if it was a really quick trip, I wouldn't have missed this experience for the world.
So with all that fun, I did get a little off my plan, especially the eating plan. But I managed to get right back on track with my workout. As soon as I got back tonight, I went to the gym to get in yesterday's upper body workout + today's cardio. So I feel pretty good, other than dehydrated from last night's drinking fest. hehehe
I am really getting pumped about Dave and my boys, Rascal Flatts coming to town next week. WOW! I can hardly stand it already. So I better try to rest my mind a little. I have lots to do.
M=Scattered and overwhelmed (lots of atty shit on my mind)
E=Elated!
P=Strong but tired
S=Seeking
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