I have soooo much on my mind right now, I can hardly remember which end is up. I am so excited that I get to see you in 36 hours in Fort Lauderdale for an awesome concert experience. I can't wait!!!!
Okay, Dawn, just try to focus for a few minutes...mmmm, zoom, zoom, zoom. Oh dear...do you see how quickly my mind wanders. I can't even type as fast as my mind is bouncing all over your body in my mind with anticipation. I just want to scream. Whatever is a girl to do??? I have no idea how I will possibly stand it that you will be so close to me in Indianapolis with Billy and I can't touch you. Such torture...ugh! Oh well, first things first.
TODAY. Today was pretty cool. I was super busy at work. Just started the 5th Vera store. I really needed that kind of distraction today to keep me focused on making money. My finances are starting to stress me a little, but I know everything will turn out just fine in time.
I ended up taking the kids to childcare at the gym, which worked out great! They got to exercise and I did too. I love that! I really enjoyed my workout tonight.
Well, I better get back to my to-do list. So much to do in so little time, but I have made good progress so far...the kids are packed. So now it is time to start on my packing, which theoretically shouldn't take too long since I will only be there for 27 hours. No time for sleeping this trip. =)
M=Scattered
E=Bubbling with excitement
P=Strong with a sore back
S=Searching
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
27 April 2008 - Day 35
Today was rather out of control. However, I still managed to accomplish most of the items on my long to-do list. With several still to go, this blog may be short. First of all, I am really excited about seeing my special friend for an awesome quick trip to Florida for the Santana concert this upcoming week. It is hard to believe that this week is the beginning of May, month #5 of 2008. Wow, this year is flying by. But even despite all of the challenges that have come with this year so far, I am extremely happy. I have several people to thank for that, but most of all you, Dave. You are truly amazing! One thing that is so ironic is that while you were telling me what my mom was thankful for...that you have been a "lifesaver" for me...I was listening to one of the new songs from my boys called "Every Day." (The jist of the song is that every day you save my life.) How crazy is that! What is even more crazy is that as soon as I sat down to log onto the computer, that was the song I heard playing. So the first thing I did was search for it and play the youtube video. It is funny that that song has been playing over and over in my head all day...what an interesting message.
Speaking of interesting messages, this morning during meditation I had this overwhelming comforting feeling. There were several times that I felt a real unique warm feeling...kinda hard to describe. I almost felt like I was being lifted or craddled. With all the drama in my life, it was like peaceful bliss. It was awesome!
M=Sharp
E=Full of anticipation and excitement!!!
P=Strong, but eager for more change...give me a challenge
S=Connected, at peace
Speaking of interesting messages, this morning during meditation I had this overwhelming comforting feeling. There were several times that I felt a real unique warm feeling...kinda hard to describe. I almost felt like I was being lifted or craddled. With all the drama in my life, it was like peaceful bliss. It was awesome!
M=Sharp
E=Full of anticipation and excitement!!!
P=Strong, but eager for more change...give me a challenge
S=Connected, at peace
Saturday, April 26, 2008
26 April 2008 - Day 34
It was really nice to be able to wake up to your voice this morning, in a nice "comfy" bed (of course, it is nothing in comparison to THE comfy bed, which I would really like to be in at the moment), in a quiet house. It is rare that I get to enjoy a slow-moving morning, and take my time getting up. I was also able to make a nice breakfast, and get the lawn mowed for the first time this spring. And I spent some time with Dena tonight which was great! She is such a great friend, one of the special few that knows me so well. Anyway, we had a fantastic time, which included shopping, of course.
Other than yardwork, I did not get my cardio workout in, but I am scheduled for Spin class and more tomorrow. I am still doing well with the meal plan, but my meditating has fallen off track a little. So tomorrow, I plan on starting with that in a quiet house in the morning.
So although I didn't place 4th in a 22 mile race, I think today turned out pretty cool. I am getting organized with my long to-do list for tomorrow, then it will be time to rest. But for some reason, I am getting pretty excited about the upcoming week. Maybe that has something to do with the sexy pics I can't stop thinking about...on that note, time to get re-focused. Only 3-1/2 days to go. I can't wait to see you!
M=Trying to focus, but somehow distracted
E=Happy and anxious
P=Strong
S=Searching
Other than yardwork, I did not get my cardio workout in, but I am scheduled for Spin class and more tomorrow. I am still doing well with the meal plan, but my meditating has fallen off track a little. So tomorrow, I plan on starting with that in a quiet house in the morning.
So although I didn't place 4th in a 22 mile race, I think today turned out pretty cool. I am getting organized with my long to-do list for tomorrow, then it will be time to rest. But for some reason, I am getting pretty excited about the upcoming week. Maybe that has something to do with the sexy pics I can't stop thinking about...on that note, time to get re-focused. Only 3-1/2 days to go. I can't wait to see you!
M=Trying to focus, but somehow distracted
E=Happy and anxious
P=Strong
S=Searching
Friday, April 25, 2008
25 April 2008 - Day 33
Here's to today...cheers! It's Sexy Friday. Thank god. Right now I am really feeling good that this challenging week is over. I am feeling very happy at the moment that I have been able to make it through. Yes, in fact this week has been full of many accomplishments. Some that were inevitable and others that were a real stretch. For example, from where I sit now, I have been exposed to some things that were not at all fun to have to see nor experience. It is really very sad and scary at how little you can know someone; what some people are capable of downplaying or covering up. What a sick person that must be. Anyway, I have made it through computer discovery day to decision day. I am glad for once I can truly unwind and relax for the weekend. No real obligations. I can sleep in and get some of the items done that I have pushed to the back burner.
On that note, I am looking forward to a quiet weekend...maybe to enjoy some "me" time, as a reward for overcoming this crazy insane week. So again I say "cheers!"
M=Calm and relaxed
E=Relieved and happy
P=Strong yet sore
S=Searching
On that note, I am looking forward to a quiet weekend...maybe to enjoy some "me" time, as a reward for overcoming this crazy insane week. So again I say "cheers!"
M=Calm and relaxed
E=Relieved and happy
P=Strong yet sore
S=Searching
Thursday, April 24, 2008
24 April 2008 - Day 32
Today's blog will be rather short. I still have a very long list of things to accomplish for the evening and already my mind is shot. I am feeling completely overwhelmed at the moment and my body is having a hard time relaxing. So I will be brief...
Work went fine, considering it started off a little crazy with computer problems throughout the office. But it finished with some interesting furniture work in Revit, which was awesome. I am really enjoying learning that software now. I feel that it will really pay off soon. (Of course, all the distracting conversation helped the day pass quickly too.)
My mom actually helped out today and spent the entire afternoon with Jordan. That was awesome! Those times seem to be few and far between, but what a treat that was today for Jordan, and for me. =)
Eating was fine...following my plan as usual.
Other than being exhausted mentally with tough decisions to make ahead of me...things are really good. I am really hoping for a swift resolution to all this shit, of course, all in my favor.
M=Exhausted
E=Tired and stressed
P=Strong
S=Seeking direction
Work went fine, considering it started off a little crazy with computer problems throughout the office. But it finished with some interesting furniture work in Revit, which was awesome. I am really enjoying learning that software now. I feel that it will really pay off soon. (Of course, all the distracting conversation helped the day pass quickly too.)
My mom actually helped out today and spent the entire afternoon with Jordan. That was awesome! Those times seem to be few and far between, but what a treat that was today for Jordan, and for me. =)
Eating was fine...following my plan as usual.
Other than being exhausted mentally with tough decisions to make ahead of me...things are really good. I am really hoping for a swift resolution to all this shit, of course, all in my favor.
M=Exhausted
E=Tired and stressed
P=Strong
S=Seeking direction
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
23 April 2008 - Day 31
I know, I know...yesterday I was naughty and didn't blog. However, I did follow through with all the stuff I had said I would do, and for the kind of crazy day I had, that should say something. I went to work; went to the attorney's office for discovery time (which at times was mortifying); went to the gym for a very hard workout; and finished the night off with some wine. After the kinds of things I had witnessed on that computer, I was really debating whether to just head home and pass out or head to Leigh Ann's for "wine-thirty." I am kinda glad I made that choice. It really helped to relax and void those things out of my mind. I am sure that was more due to the wine than the company. hehe Plus, I am certain it had a lot to do with my late night conversation, along with the sexy pic I received. =)
In any case, the truth has been exposed and now it is time to make a decision, and move forward. I am now faced with the big decision. What to do next? How to proceed? I feel that part of me is sooo past ready for all of this shit to be over, and part of me is really struggling for the best form of revenge. I am pretty sure that comes from my determination. I don't want to "give up" until I am certain I have won. I know what you are thinking...I do know that I have won. I don't think that is the internal problem at all. I think the problem lies in the fact that I don't really know what it is that I want. I am really enjoying my time to myself, the workouts, the traveling, the love for life again. For so long I was robbed of that. And I really feel that I am experiencing life through my own eyes and enjoying every minute. So the question is...do I fight to remove more of his rites with the kids, and in turn, rob myself of freedom?
Of course, the best answer is that I do what is in the best interests of me and the kids. And that means making sure they are protected and we are all happy.
That is definitely one to mediate on. So with that, I am off to think...
M=Exhausted
E=A little overwhelmed
P=Strong and fit
S=Seeking answers/direction
In any case, the truth has been exposed and now it is time to make a decision, and move forward. I am now faced with the big decision. What to do next? How to proceed? I feel that part of me is sooo past ready for all of this shit to be over, and part of me is really struggling for the best form of revenge. I am pretty sure that comes from my determination. I don't want to "give up" until I am certain I have won. I know what you are thinking...I do know that I have won. I don't think that is the internal problem at all. I think the problem lies in the fact that I don't really know what it is that I want. I am really enjoying my time to myself, the workouts, the traveling, the love for life again. For so long I was robbed of that. And I really feel that I am experiencing life through my own eyes and enjoying every minute. So the question is...do I fight to remove more of his rites with the kids, and in turn, rob myself of freedom?
Of course, the best answer is that I do what is in the best interests of me and the kids. And that means making sure they are protected and we are all happy.
That is definitely one to mediate on. So with that, I am off to think...
M=Exhausted
E=A little overwhelmed
P=Strong and fit
S=Seeking answers/direction
Monday, April 21, 2008
21 April 2008 - Day 29
There are soooo many things running through my mind right now. It is hard to get my mind to slow down enough to write them down. My first thought is to dread what I may find on that computer tomorrow...#2 Is to hope I find all kinds of dreadful shit that I can use to fry his ass...#3 Is to take advantage of his panicking and negotiate this now to the end...#4 Is to just slow down, take my time, discover all that I can to be certain that I am making the right decision for me and my kids. So with all that swirling through my brain, I choose, for now, to slow down and enter the discovery process with the best advice in mind...that those images I find are of a past life, a version of me that no longer exists. And that person needs my help to fight and set her free.
With that being said, I am mentally spent. So I am going to workout extra hard tomorrow, which I am sure I will need to do after computer discovery class is over, followed by some wine to unwind. Meditation was interrupted this morning by persistant phone callers, but I was still able to jump back in and relax my mind. That was encouraging.
One thing I am certain of, is that at times like these, I would love to make love and pass out in the arms of the man I love right now. Sweet dreams...
M=Scattered vs. Focused
E=Exhausted
P=Strong
S=Seeking direction
With that being said, I am mentally spent. So I am going to workout extra hard tomorrow, which I am sure I will need to do after computer discovery class is over, followed by some wine to unwind. Meditation was interrupted this morning by persistant phone callers, but I was still able to jump back in and relax my mind. That was encouraging.
One thing I am certain of, is that at times like these, I would love to make love and pass out in the arms of the man I love right now. Sweet dreams...
M=Scattered vs. Focused
E=Exhausted
P=Strong
S=Seeking direction
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